30 is the new 50, a midlife crisis

or maybe it’s just me.

To be in your 30s is to be suspended midair
between the ground you always walked
and the limitless sky above.

it is to see your childhood in a new light,
oscillating between disdain at your past self 
for the things she just couldn’t see
and pity for the preciousness she possessed even then
when life rushed upon her without permission.

it is to see your parents as whole complex stories which 
birthed and intersected with 
yours—(your issues aren’t arbitrary)
and it‘s to hold the hope
of continuing the best things about life and legacy
in your children,
or perhaps longing to with empty womb, 
cradle, or ring finger.
or just wanting to build something that outlasts you.

either way, it seems,
the 30s will have you
making a home
while aching for home.

it’ll have you watch a generation die
while you sing lullabies to a new one,
making new memories
eerily similar to the old ones
all while wondering if you’re doing it right.

The 30s mean learning you
have bad posture (and that’ll cost you)
have a disease (and that’ll cost you)
never learned how to properly breathe 
(and that’ll cost you)
or how to manage stress, really
or how to budget, eat, set boundaries
(the things, you think, you should’ve at least 
mastered in your 20s)

it means carrying the grief of the past three decades—
plus a trail of generational wounds before you—
while carrying a fear for the future generations 
now before you.

30 is the new 50, a midlife crisis,
or maybe it’s just me.
maybe the 30s are
prime time for healing.

Philippe Park, Safety Harbor, FL.

Hey, did you know I wrote a book? (Well, a few technically!)

My latest book is my first book for grown-ups. It’s called Love Has a Story (Moody Publishers, 2024), and I think you should read the first two chapters to see if you want to get it for yourself or a friend (here’s chapter one and here’s chapter two). :)

Be on the lookout for news about my first fiction book, a novel-in-verse set to release in 2027 with InterVarsity Press. Can’t wait to tell you all about it!